Thursday, November 20, 2008

i'm on the wrong setting

Sometimes I feel that living in another country is like being a machine that's on the wrong setting for what it's being asked to do. I expect things to be a certain way, and when they don't happen that way, it's simply very frustrating. I knew coming here that things would be different, but I didn't expect that how people respond to everyday situations emotionally would be that different. And it's not drastically different, but just enough so that I feel like I'm not in sync with my surroundings.

For example, people here drive like they are going to DIE if they don't get somewhere in the next 2 seconds. I understand urgency, and even road rage when you are pressed to get somewhere and sitting in traffic, but people honk at other cars when their car can't go anywhere. If someone is in a lane, and they can't go because someone is doing something in front of them, it doesn't make sense for cars behind the whole thing to honk hysterically. This morning I was at a green light, and there was a huge sign that said you could only turn left with a green arrow. But the woman behind me was basically pissing herself because I wouldn't go. And she gave me all these dirty looks when she whipped around me later. Sorry, chica, no voy ir cuando no puedo parati!

So, driving can be a pain. I still prefer driving to buses, or walking, but it's additionally difficult I think because of its juxtaposition to everything else, which barely moves at all, much less quickly. I swear I have spent more time here standing in line at checkouts than doing anything else. People have zero sense of urgency unless they are driving, and then it's in overdrive.

I think I feel displaced, because I apply the sense of urgency to everything, and I get frustrated when most things take forever, but people expect me to change lanes in .00002 seconds.

It worries me, because the attitude when driving seems to be to ignore everyone else, and just push your way wherever you want to go. And honk at everyone who gets close to you and threatens to thwart your high-speed chase pace. I find myself becoming like that, but I am transferring it to how I deal with people in general. Going back to checkout lanes, people don't care if you have a fussy baby and a cartload of stuff. They bolt in front of you to get in line, or expect you to reverse the stroller in a small space so they can walk through first.

Driving hme from shopping today, feeling disgruntled at the people of Santiago, I was thinking today that the moniker "ugly American" seems to be a misplaced label. I don't think Americans act this way at all. Well, sometimes, but not in general. I worry that I don't act this way towards people that way now, but in 2 years I will. I will become an ugly American because I left America.

Speaking of leaving America, our stuff, which left some time ago, has yet to make an appearance. The government workers, including customs officials, are on strike, so our stuff is sitting at the port. So we are sleeping on a futon mattress on the floor, and we have no tables. But, such is life. It's not the end of the world, and everyone who comes down here goes through it, blah blah blah. Knowing that doesn't make me want my stuff any less.

We are in our new apartment, of which I will post pix soon. Until then, I am going to take a nap so I will be prepared to face another outing in the wild wilderness of the Santiago streets later.