Yo no understando

I'm breaking my new format already, because I have some things to say that can't possibly be summarized in "updates, positives, and complaints."

One of the things that has made it easier for me to live here is being okay with my own stupidity. The first couple of months, I struggled a great deal to understand everything that everyone said to me, every word, and I was constantly worried that someone would say something really important that I wouldn't "get." I'm not sure if it's because I understand more now, or because I just don't care as much, but it's become easier to roll through daily life understanding what seems like very little.

I estimated yesterday that I understand an average of about 2 words in every sentence that is spoken to me (in Spanish). And, of course, I latch onto the words and try to make sense of the rest of what was said. Phrases like "el fundo," which means "at the end," are used all the time, even if something isn't "at the end," but if someone says "blah blah blah el fundo blah blah blah mundo," I think, "wait, it's the end of the world????!!!"

There are lots of words in Spanish that sound alike but have different accents. I think this is a key component of why it's challenging for an American to understand, because we say words however we want. But the whole "you say tomato, I say tomato" doesn't apply in Spanish. If you say "to-mah-to" it's a totally different thing than "to-may-to," for example. My Spanish teacher here pointed out that English words have accents. "Yeah, but we ignore them," I told her. We just say things however, and people figure it out.

I also get thrown by silent vowels, which English also has its share of. One day, for my Spanish lesson, we went for a walk, and she kept saying what I thought was something about ice cream (helado). But I eventually figured out, when I asked when we were stopping for ice cream, is that she was saying "al lado," (beside). Since the "h" in "helado" is silent, how am I suppose to hear the difference?

Sometimes I do worry about my lack of understanding posing problems. Like, what if someone was yelling that a truck was coming up beside me, but I thought they were telling me about an ice cream truck? (Al lado vs. helado). I might die while wondering whether I should get the waffle cone.

But, most of the time being okay with stupidity is okay. It was just really too stressful to worry all the time that someone would say something important. I cried a lot the first month for this reason. Now I'm like, "Oh well, they probably didn't tell me I won the lottery." And sometimes it works in my favor. Even if I did speak/understand Spanish fluently, I don't look like a Spanish-speaker. Which allows me to wander into private country clubs, or go the wrong way in parking garages, or shake my head when asked for money from a beggar. Always the same answer: "No entiendo."